Games people play

coaching, career coach, life transition

War Games movie - 1983; Whopper computer

Have you ever heard of the Karpman Drama Triangle? Likely you have not. However, likely it is a big part of your life.

It is a social interatction dynamic and ultimately, a conversational game in which we spend way too much of our time. It is a representation of the complicated communication games people enact and “play” within their communication exchanges with each other. The triangle always consists of a Persecutor, a Rescuer and a Victim. A communication can start from any of these positions and the people within the communication may switch roles, voluntarily or involuntarily, as the interaction develops.

The result can very often be a time-wasting, soul-sucking, counterproductive, sometimes harmful interaction between human beings. We each tend to have a favorite role depending on our past experiences and comfort zone.

Knowing what role you are playing and which game you are in is vitally important. Sometimes you must play the game. Sometimes you actually need or want what the game has to offer and it is a necessary part of your overall goals or things you want to accomplish. Knowing which game you are in and which role you are playing will greatly increase the odds that you will win. The way to better understand these things is to better understand yourself.

However, as Whopper, an early version of an AI computer, in the movie War Games, learns just prior to proceeding with actions that will have devatstating consequences, sometimes the best course of action is just not to play.

As in our lives, playing a role in a drama triangle will usually end in a series of never-ending “draws” and expending a lot of energy to get nowhere and accomplish nothing.

Living a game free life outisde of the drama triangle is certain to be a much more fulfilling, expansive and joyful experience for you and for those around you. As we take responsibility for our intentions, our motives and ourselves, we create a centered and authentic life without any need for games or false pretense. Go game free; you won’t regret it.

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